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Gary Direnfeld, MSW, RSW

I commonly see parents of young adults in university/college where the student is throwing away their education, putting more time towards partying and recovery than studying and earning grades. Common to these situations are often backgrounds of privilege with the parents carrying the tab – both for the bar and the books. What’s a parent to do?

While the parents are focused on their son or daughter, I am focused on the parents. I find that in these situations, the parent has set a goal of happiness for their child. They want their child to be happy.

This is not an unreasonable goal, but unfortunately, the strategies aimed at achieving it are often misguided.

In an effort to facilitate their child’s happiness, these parents have been apt to pave the road ahead of each step the child takes throughout life; are too forgiving of transgressions without requiring accountability and restitution…

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“The ladder of success is never crowded at the top.”

Gary Direnfeld, MSW, RSW

Two siblings, ages three and five are bickering over the toys. The parent admonishes the younger child, “You are almost four, now share.” The older child next hits the younger child and the parent shouts, “Don’t hit… you have to love your little sister/brother.” The stage is set for the parent to develop a rivalry between the children with the toys viewed as a valuable and limited resource. What is sought though, is sibling harmony, not rivalry.

Children go through developmental stages where at one stage they are almost incapable of sharing, to the next stage, when they finally develop an ability to share. In developmental terms these stages are described as parallel play and cooperative play.

Parallel play is most common in two to three year olds. The main feature of parallel play is that the child tends to play alone, even though the child may be with other…

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My name is Lorraine Fay, I am 54 years old and am on a disability. I current live on 1,012.00 dollars a month which I receive from Ontario Disability Support.
I am currently  member of @AbilityFirst  where we are reaching out to employers in hopes of hiring person with disabilities. It has been a very slow process. My disability is Fibromyalgia a disability Millions experience. Yes it can be debilitating if not managed properly. From physical, emotional, spiritual and yes financially. My concern is our funds are being exhausted in terms of supporting those on disability and we need to bring awareness to employers that those on disability can & will make a difference in the workplace. We together can bring awareness and build communities , saving our tax payers dollars, while introducing to those on a disability , You Can To. Imagine a person on a disability waiting for the month end cheque (at the expense of our Tax payer, while exhausting Ministry funds) doing nothing each and every day. Growing older, less productive, developing Mental Illness (depression) utilizing our community resources, exhausting our community support partners and funds. Does not sound like  day anyone would like to have and can we afford this? BellLetsTalk , Leads Employment agency, Hutton House, New centres being open to support those with both physical & mental health concerns. Woo now if that is not indicative of a need out there in the community than I don’t know what it will take to bring change, awareness, education, and hope.
So my thought is this: Take me I am yours. There are more disabled persons watching TV than abled body people. Lets send a message, lets show the world that change can happen if you let it. how cool would it be to be off a disability, being a productive member of society and yes having a few bucks to enjoy a Timmies 😊 Bringing a whole new meaning to the term Disability
Lets get a  show going where 3 persons w disabilities pitch to the team why they feel they are the best candidate to receive and intern position. The winner will go on to work at a place suitable to their disability, (Mine would be in a creative , Mentor role) love advertising, Arlene from Dragons Den would be my dream come true . My body might not function as it once did but my mind is still as sharp & probably even more creative due to my condition. The Old Gray Mare might not be what she used to be but she still wins a few races 😊Ok if I had the winning pitch, I would go to an intern position and be followed on my journey back . Showing that no matter what , You can reposition your self in life . How inspiring would that be. Giviing others hope, showing employer s that hiring a person with a disability is a Great idea @abilityfirst  and will make a difference all round.
 Lets together show those Hundreds of thousands( just in Canada alone, the numbers Internationally are staggering) that they matter ! They too can work, be part community building, give hope and a purpose, to move forward.
My name is Lorraine Fay, I am 54 years old and am on a disability. I current live on 1,012.00 dollars a month which I receive from Ontario Disability Support.
I am currently  member of @AbilityFirst  where we are reaching out to employers in hopes of hiring person with disabilities. It has been a very slow process. My disability is Fibromyalgia a disability Millions experience. Yes it can be debilitating if not managed properly. From physical, emotional, spiritual and yes financially. My concern is our funds are being exhausted in terms of supporting those on disability and we need to bring awareness to employers that those on disability can & will make a difference in the workplace. We together can bring awareness and build communities , saving our tax payers dollars, while introducing to those on a disability , You Can To. Imagine a person on a disability waiting for the month end cheque (at the expense of our Tax payer, while exhausting Ministry funds) doing nothing each and every day. Growing older, less productive, developing Mental Illness (depression) utilizing our community resources, exhausting our community support partners and funds. Does not sound like  day anyone would like to have and can we afford this? BellLetsTalk , Leads Employment agency, Hutton House, New centres being open to support those with both physical & mental health concerns. Woo now if that is not indicative of a need out there in the community than I don’t know what it will take to bring change, awareness, education, and hope.
So my thought is this: Take me I am yours. There are more disabled persons watching TV than abled body people. Lets send a message, lets show the world that change can happen if you let it. how cool would it be to be off a disability, being a productive member of society and yes having a few bucks to enjoy a Timmies 😊 Bringing a whole new meaning to the term Disability
Lets get a  show going where 3 persons w disabilities pitch to the team why they feel they are the best candidate to receive and intern position. The winner will go on to work at a place suitable to their disability, (Mine would be in a creative , Mentor role) love advertising, Arlene from Dragons Den would be my dream come true . My body might not function as it once did but my mind is still as sharp & probably even more creative due to my condition. The Old Gray Mare might not be what she used to be but she still wins a few races 😊Ok if I had the winning pitch, I would go to an intern position and be followed on my journey back . Showing that no matter what , You can reposition your self in life . How inspiring would that be. Giviing others hope, showing employer s that hiring a person with a disability is a Great idea @abilityfirst  and will make a difference all round.
 Lets together show those Hundreds of thousands( just in Canada alone, the numbers Internationally are staggering) that they matter ! They too can work, be part community building, give hope and a purpose, to move forward.

Looking back reflecting on past events of the year and looking towards a more peaceful purpose for the future, free from abuse !

Soul Searcher

For many years I held the “picture” of you close to my heart. A picture of long ago. I cherished in my heart the memories of long ago. I twirled my baton in the “Grey Cup Parade” while your marched behind me playing your trumpet. “The last song”

Years later here I stand at your bedside trying to come to terms with our “Final Good bye” I search for words, for memories, for the times “special” to both.A time to cherish the moments we both shared. There was little joy to share at such a time, nothing but memories of the painful past.

I longed for you to walk me through life, to my future, a life where I was would be “cared for” with gentle gloves, a kind heart. I held my hand out to you but walked alone.

I prayed every night ” please Lord bring my father…

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Gary Direnfeld, MSW, RSW

While there are many reasons persons maintain the secrecy of their sexual abuse, chief amongst them may be shame, a sense of complicity and intimidation.

With regard to shame, many persons who were victimized by childhood sexual abuse come to believe that the abuse is somehow a reflection on them. They come to mistaken beliefs that owing to their victimization, they may be less of a person. How this can come about is understandable even though misguided.

It is understandable in that the experience of childhood sexual abuse leaves the child with the mistaken impression that their worth and value are limited to or reduced to that of a sexual object for the gratification of others. They as a person beyond their availability for the sexual gratification of the other are of limited value and they are tainted in the eyes of others, the outcome of being spoiled goods by…

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